12.20.2005

Addicted

Is there a twelve-step program for my addiction?

  1. I admit I am powerless over Relay, that my life has become unmanageable.

  2. I have come to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity.

  3. etc.


If there was a twelve-step program, I think my daughter would request that I enter treatment. For I am not one of those people who gets excited the month or two prior to the event and then can forget about it afterward until the next one comes along.

Instead? When it occurs, I'm manic. I dance around the track with my beautiful nieces and embarrass the rest of the family (although this year I'm hoping that dance laps are an actual part of our Relay). I'm on regular hyper mode. And then, after months of careful planning, strategizing, fundraising, etc... It's over.

darkness falls

crickets chirping

Keri enters short depression as she realizes her Relay is finished for months...


My brain continues in Relay mode, even though our committee takes a few months off. I'm incapable of shutting down. I'm going through withdrawal. It's painful. It's ugly. I just can't help myself. I can't wait to gear up again. I can't stop thinking about it or talking about it. I drive people crazy. Especially Kel. It reminds her that Keith had cancer. And she doesn't like to be reminded that chances were high that she nearly lost him.

But then we gear up again and people forget that I was goofy during the time that we were supposed to be on break. They forgive me even. I'm allowed to start the normal planning. In the spring a couple of months before our own Relay, the neighboring town (in fact, the town where Kel goes to school - so the town where we live) has their Relay. I attend. I gleam ideas and just soak it all in. During the weeks leading up to our own event, there are fundraisers and other neighboring communities are holding their Relays. I try to hit them all. I cannot think of a way to have more fun, unless friends and family are there with me.

Obsessed? Addicted? Yes. I suppose I'd admit to that. But would I enter treatment for it if there were a Twelve-Step program offered? Not a chance. I think more people should have Relay Fever. There is nothing like it. And personally, no cure necessary. (Besides, Trish says I can't go for treatment even if one is offered. And I always listen to what Trish says.)




Playing in my head: Gravedigger by Dave Matthews

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